If you know a couple with an exceptional love story, I would love to help share it with others. You can nominate a couple by filling out this form. I will select a winner each month, and will provide them with a free photoshoot and blog much like this one.
The goal for all this is simple: to provide my newlywed clients with encouragement and inspiration to help them love each other with a depth and fullness that will help make their marriages last.
Meet Andy & Becky who will celebrate their 25th anniversary later this year. We met at the spot where they spent time during Andy's time at the Naval Academy and continue to spend time years later. We started their session by recreating a photo they took Andy's plebe summer. You can scroll through their gallery to read their wisdom on how to make a marriage last.
What is one thing you wish you knew about marriage 25 years ago?
Andy: I wish I knew and understood what the Bible said about marriage. For more than 15 years of our marriage we went through life with our own understanding but once we got God's perspective on what marriage is and how we are to treat each other in the marriage relationship, the last 10 years have been better than the first 15 despite the more challenging times we have faced.
Becky: Yes, best years in the past 10 with excitement for the future years! In pursing and choosing to place God first as individuals and as a couple, we can “dance in the rain!” And that says a lot since Andy doesn’t dance. So wish I had known that, despite the world’s shiny promises of self-discovery to find happiness, the world’s ways lead to confusion and separation of the souls. But, God’s way truly joins them and leads to joy beyond all circumstances that come our way. So, one thing in one word? God.
How do you overcome hardship in marriage?
Andy: It may sound cliche, but I have learned to give the hardships over to Him to trust Him. Whether it is a conflict with my wife, financial challenges, or issues with children, I find that if I go to God first that He helps guide me through whatever to hardship might be.
Becky: Two main prayer strategies: “God, please go before me! Especially my mouth!” and “God, I surrender Andy, my will, our whatever, to You. I cannot carry this burden but You can! Please give me what part of the problem I am to carry and how to do it!”
What is the number one key to communication in marriage?
Andy: Haha...listening (which I am still not very good at). I seem to have a mental block to hear nothing after the first comma or after the "and". I guess maybe the root of that is patience. I too quickly kick into "get 'r done" mode on the first thing that I hear rather than patiently wait for the entire stream of communication. Of course, patience helps on my wife's end, too, as she has demonstrated copious amounts with me.
Becky: That first prayer strategy in #2! Also, asking to speak into his life and his time table such as “Andy, could I please have 5 mins of your time? Is now good or in an hour?” Sometimes that may mean I have to wait a day or two. It’s worth the effort since the goal is to both be engaged and willing to hear one another. While I wait, I try to prepare my heart to speak in truth, love and kindness. Timing and patience is everything. Do I really believe after 25 years of marriage he heard me while he has the game on?!